Archive for Humor

CthulHaiku Beach Fun

Playing at the beach
Peculiar rock formation
Oh, shit, a deep one

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Terrible Truth

I knew the risks, some of them at least. I understood that the molds and fungi in the deep and secret chamber exuded a foul and toxic essence. I knew the understanding of these truths could make one mad, or worse.

Still, my hunger for knowledge, and I admit to a thirst for power, drove me forward. I put match to wick and adjusted the lantern.

Gently, and with trepidation, I opened the cover of the ancient and crumbling tome: a tingling sensation slipped into my thumb and coursed through my body. I began to read. These truths should have seemed fancy, but were undeniable as they burned into my mind and spirit.

My back arched, straining as if my spine might snap. I felt an enormous consciousness force itself into mine. I could form no words of my own, but issuing from my tortured mouth was a torrent of grating and sibilant consonants. “Gk sthqb pdgkkz sstsk!”

It was then I knew the terrible truth. I had lost all control of my vowels.

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5 Great Movies That Would Be Even Better If Lovecraft Had Written Them

Let’s be fair, there have been a lot of movies whose fame can be traced back to the great Mr. Lovecraft: The Thing, Pacific Rim, Alien, Pans Labyrinth, and Event Horizon to name a few of the obvious ones.

But even the great works could be greater, and I think that adding Lovecraft is the answer for success!

The way I see it, there isn’t enough Lovecraftian prose weaved into our favorite stories. That’s when I asked myself which movies probably could have benefited from a touch by the scribe himself.

Continue reading »

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The All-Time Top 20 Lovecraftian Pop Hits!

Lovecraft album cover

Let us unwind with the album that Nielsen says is #1 in Arkham and Innsmouth, and probably Carcosa as well, but the sales figures there have been lost:

H.P. Lovecraft: The Pop/Rock Sessions

  1. The Thing on the Dubstep
  2. Kanye West, Remiximator
  3. Rolling in the Deep (Ones)
  4. Miskatonic Valley Sunday
  5. Baby Got Blackwood
  6. Alhazred Rubber Ball
  7. Telepathy for the Devil
  8. Angle Eyes
  9. Blurred Lines (Between Dimensions)
  10. The Shadow Out of Time After Time
  11. Let It Mi-Go
  12. Shut Up and Dunsany
  13. Funky (Smelling) Town
  14. Turn the Beast Around
  15. Just the Two Squamous
  16. Baby, Yuggoth What It Takes
  17. Sub-Batrachian Homesick Blues
  18. An Ulthar One Bites the Dust (Cat Stevens remix)
  19. The Treble, Old Man
  20. The Bass of Charles Dexter Ward

 

Next time: Cthulhu Attacks! is well and truly released … and selling!

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The Lovecraft Alphabet

There’s no better way to teach your kids the eldritch ABCs … by the incredible Lone Animator!

Thanks to Bill Collins for finding this!

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Will I be “Riding the Dog” to NecronomiCon?

Although the concepts are related, there is a wide gulf between embarrassment and shame. Embarrassment is when you are seen getting stuck outside your hotel room stark naked. Shame is when you are seen getting stuck outside your hotel room totally starkers except for a condom and a Hitler mask.

hitler baby

At least you were using protection.

Continue reading »

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Call of Cthulhu Survival Tips

This is not my creation, I found it on the Internet.  I have cleaned it a bit for grammar and punctuation and made a few other changes.  It is largely as I found it. Continue reading »

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Shoggoth.net mourns Gary Gygax

Shoggoth.net is mourning the death of Gary Gygax, the father of Role-Playing Games. From Cnn.com:

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) — Gary Gygax, who co-created the fantasy game Dungeons & Dragons and helped start the role-playing phenomenon, died Tuesday morning at his home in Lake Geneva. He was 69.

He had been suffering from health problems for several years, including an abdominal aneurysm, said his wife, Gail Gygax.

Gygax and Dave Arneson developed Dungeons & Dragons in 1974 using medieval characters and mythical creatures. The game known for its oddly shaped dice became a hit, particularly among teenage boys, and eventually was turned into video games, books and movies.

Gygax always enjoyed hearing from the game’s legion of devoted fans, many of whom would stop by the family’s home in Lake Geneva, about 55 miles southwest of Milwaukee, his wife said. Despite his declining health, he hosted weekly games of Dungeons & Dragons as recently as January, she said.

“It really meant a lot to him to hear from people from over the years about how he helped them become a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, what he gave them,” Gygax said. “He really enjoyed that.”

Dungeons & Dragons players create fictional characters and carry out their adventures with the help of complicated rules. The quintessential geek pastime, it spawned a wealth of copycat games and later inspired a whole genre of computer games that’s still growing in popularity.

Funeral arrangements are pending. Besides his wife, Gygax is survived by six children.

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Origins 2007 Report – Trevlix

Trevlix, a Shoggoth.net Group Keeper and of YSDC fame, has begun posting of his Origins experiences in his journal.

Check it out, here.

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Origins 2007 Feedback!

Have some comments on this year’s Shoggoth.net Group events at Origins?

Have stories to tell?

Have suggestions for next year?

Would you like to participate as a Shoggoth.net Group GM in 2008?

Let us know! Send in a submission! Post in our forums! Post at the Yog-Sothoth.com forums. Send me an email! Continue reading »

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