Monthly archives: May 2015

YES!!! I shall be a guest author at NecronomiCon Providence 2015!

Hi. May I just say one quick thing?

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Ahem. Thank you. To discover the source of my excitement, please check out the screenshot of the NecronomiCon “Guests” Web page. A subtle arrow has been added to direct you (you’re welcome). Continue reading »

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Don’t Look Back

You may think you know where this story of undying love is going … but beware: you might be myth-ing something important.

The concert was going fine until Johnny Harlowe saw his dead girlfriend in the third row.

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Will I be “Riding the Dog” to NecronomiCon?

Although the concepts are related, there is a wide gulf between embarrassment and shame. Embarrassment is when you are seen getting stuck outside your hotel room stark naked. Shame is when you are seen getting stuck outside your hotel room totally starkers except for a condom and a Hitler mask.

hitler baby

At least you were using protection.

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No-‘Count Drakkalar


Morning sunlight moved over Dark Creek, making the students shade their eyes against the glare. Miss Leonard, she of the willowy frame and long legs, tsked and lowered the blinds.

“I do hope that’s better. Now, let’s begin by reviewing your choices for the assignment: You can read Dracula, Carmilla or, gag, excuse me, Interview with the Vampire.” I expect the reading to be done in a month, and then written responses every week thereafter.” She looked out over the sullen faces.

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I Love You To Pieces

stump
“Lucky fucking cripple,” Stuart said as he eyed Johnny Hicks’s stump. Looking down at his own two healthy legs, he couldn’t help but feel he was the handicapped one.

“Morning, Mr. Alexander.” Johnny said as he passed Stuart’s office on the way to the firm’s law library.

“Morning, Stuart grumbled through clenched teeth. Johnny was a good fellow and Stuart knew what he felt was wrong, but handicapped people had it so easy in life. For a cripple, it’s enough just to live a normal life.

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Death and the Scream Queen

scream queen


“Congratulations, boys and ghouls,” Lady
Nocturna said, crossing her legs in a whisper of fishnets. “You’ve lived through another night of fright. Tune in next week for a double-trouble Wilfred Ghostman creature feature Friday. Immacula the Vampire Nun followed by Wasp People, both starring yours truly. Right here on Channel 12, Trinity Bay’s one and only. Join me for the fun … if you dare!”

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Finally, a serious fiction workshop for writers not in college

Hey, this is Sean Hoade, the “new meat” at Shoggoth.net. I will consider all Weird stories or novellas produced in my workshop for these very pages. (Of course, I will also consider Weird stuff not created in my workshop.) Have a look:

Friends and aspiring writers: You might be interested in a graduate-level-style fiction workshop taught by Yours Truly, just like the workshops I held at the University. It will run 13 weeks, and people would bring in a story for the class three times to be critiqued. You could do different stories or chapters from a WIP novel or novella.

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Only Pain Is Real

“A cigarette holder and a Martini do not make the neurasthenic man,” Les Esseintes was saying, flicking an ash and taking a sip. “Nor do the tuxedo or the moustache.”

“No, the true decadent is on the inside,” Miss Satin added with a smirk. Then she sipped her own Martini to punctuate her sentence. “Of course, it’s easier for a billionaire to get away with having both.”

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La Fée Verte, le Monstre Vert

15bb5f112e297c873e36c0f7aa986a81


Soon we shall plunge into the cold darkness;
Farewell, vivid brightness of our short-lived summers!
          ― Charles Baudelaire, “Autumn Song”

Baudelaire.

It is 1859. Where has his strength gone? His arms are like brooms held at arms’ length to disturb a hornets’ nest, only his are joined at his shoulders. Numb, barely under his control. It is l’automne now, the time of dying, when the hornets die off or disappear to hide with their Queen. Baudelaire’s deadened broomstick arms serve no purpose now except to take the louched glass of absinthe once the sugar lump has been dissolved by dripping ice water.

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