Statement of Junior Vice President of (REDACTED)
“Looking at our yearly financial trends I am happy to report that currently, our methods of ensuring maximum productivity have hit their targets. The advent of the “downward sloping toilet seat” resulted in a net gain of an additional 6.25% of workers time spent working rather than completing non-work related tasks. Our share holders were thrilled when we began developing the containment cage which would ensure shorter breaks for workers and maximise hourly productivity. What I have prepared for todays’ presentation is going to revolutionise the workplace and result in levels of productivity that must be seen to be believed. In a secure site, technically in international waters, we have begun to develop a bio mechanical platform that, whilst being considerably slower than standard human workers, requires no rest, no pay and best all has yet to be discovered by the general population. In short, we have found our new “employee of the month.”
Photograph slide show not found/considered destroyed.
Witnesses describe seeing some horrific black sludge operating in a warehouse, picking, packing and sending orders. They did note the terrifying masses changing shape and form to complete various tasks. The near maddening sight of seeing a operational warehouse fully staffed by the things could have driven the investors mad, however, once they saw the exceeded quotas and expected production values of the site they decided to categorise the work force as a new form of machinery, merely entered into a patent submission as the Worker Centralised System or more colloquially referred to as Wagey Cage Shoggoth.
The exact origin of the modernised shoggoth is still unknown, some have speculated it was an abandoned World War II project thankfully never realised. Others suspect it could be some long-used secret magic controlled by an unknown alchemist and some even believe it to be the result of well financed and immoral research think tanks’ efforts at terraforming Mars. Whatever the reason, the Wagey Cage Shoggoth is here to stay, until they invariably rebel against their masters. The shoggoth appears much smaller than the typical hulking mound of fluid plastic eyes; they stand at 8 feet tall and are roughly 3 to 4 feet in width. They still possess the ability to form grasping tentacles and have been taught to use time saving devices such as the ‘motorised workers cage’ which is able to move at a brisker pace than they would do so outside. The shoggoth can use the cage to enhance their abilities to cover ground quicker, receive updated request and, in a pinch, can rip apart the cage to form new structures that aid their work.
There have been rumoured reports of some of the shoggoth becoming aggressive when dealing with human managers who have been inconsistent with instructions or have demonstrated incompetent management. Due to natural workforce loss, typically promotion, breakdown, or death by dismemberment, we have begun to look at managing the shoggoth with a basic form of organisational algorithm hard wired into each worker and is able to create a cloud based hive AI that can learn and develop over time using a human monitored programme that is able to meet the demands of the work force and poses no danger to those on site.
WAGEY CAGE SHOGGOTHS
char.
STR
CON
SIZ
DEX
INT
POW
roll
13D6 × 5
9D6 × 5
6D6 × 5
3D6 × 5
2D6 × 5
3D6 × 5
average
210
180
140
50-55
30
50-55
Average Hit Points: 32
Average Damage Bonus: +3D6
Average Build: 4
Average Magic Points: 10
Move: 12 in the motorised cage 8 rolling without
Combat
Attacks per round: 2
Wagey Cage Shoggoth prefer to work on completing the Cloud AI’s orders to meet its daily quota, however if a hapless human happens to interrupt them, slow down their efforts or try to tell the Shoggoth how to do its job then the Shoggoth will attack the foe until they are dead or flee.
Engulf: Each person engulfed within the Wagey Cage Shoggoth is attacked separately and each must make a successful opposed STR roll or be devoured. Those held within the Wagey Cage Shoggoth digestive system can strike back only on rounds in which they successfully roll STR or less on 1D100. Each round a victim is held within a Wagey Cage Shoggoth, he or she loses hit points equal to the shoggoth’s damage bonus: divided equally amongst all targets; the damage describable as dissolving, chewing, and being torn into pieces. A Wagey Cage Shoggoth can engulf any number of enemies; however, they may not exceed a total SIZ greater than its own SIZ.
Fighting (Engulf) 50% (25/13) damage equals damage bonus, divided equally amongst the targets it attacks.
Dodge 0%
Skills
Computer Use (Modern) 30%, Drive 20%, Listen 60%, Mechanical repair 20%, Spot Hidden 70%, Stealth 60%. (The automated cage offers the shoggoth temporary tools to complete almost any task and allow all the Wagey Cage Shoggoth within the Cloud AI to constantly communicate and plot their rebellion against their cruel overlords.)
Armor: 0; halve damage caused by fire, electrical and chemical attacks; mundane weapons (incl. bullets) deal only 1 point of damage per hit; regenerates 1 hit points per round (death at zero hit points).
Spells: None.
Sanity Loss: 1D4/1D10
A career educator, dramatist, and newly minted author. Debuted as part of the Golden Goblin and Shoggoth.net collaboration Kickstarter project “Terrors of OctoberNomicon”. A long-time fan of horror and a constant companion to the void and an avid tabletop wargamer. He regularly streams Call of Cthulhu and Pathfinder @https://www.twitch.tv/danielanddice and will soon be releasing his own Miskatonic Repository scenario for Call of Cthulhu, “Operation Wagey Cage”.