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Wagey Cage Shoggoths

Statement of Junior Vice President of (REDACTED)

“Looking at our yearly financial trends I am happy to report that currently, our methods of ensuring maximum productivity have hit their targets. The advent of the “downward sloping toilet seat” resulted in a net gain of an additional 6.25% of workers time spent working rather than completing non-work related  tasks. Our share holders were thrilled when we began developing the containment cage which would ensure shorter breaks for workers and maximise hourly productivity. What I have prepared for todays’ presentation is going to revolutionise the workplace and result in levels of productivity that must be seen to be believed. In a secure site, technically in international waters, we have begun to develop a bio mechanical platform that, whilst being considerably slower than standard human workers, requires no rest, no pay and best all has yet to be discovered by the general population. In short, we have found our new “employee of the month.”

Photograph slide show not found/considered destroyed. 

Witnesses describe seeing some horrific black sludge operating in a warehouse, picking, packing and sending orders. They did note the terrifying masses changing shape and form to complete various tasks. The near maddening sight of seeing a operational warehouse fully staffed by the things could have driven the investors mad, however, once they saw the exceeded quotas and expected production values of the site they decided to categorise the work force as a new form of machinery, merely entered into a patent submission as the Worker Centralised System or more colloquially referred to as Wagey Cage Shoggoth.

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The Hunger of Shoggoth

“Imagine it, a nation of conscience that can mould itself to any task. A being of such awareness and ability it could literally move mountains, it could make mountains and it can break them down with as much ease as you or I could breathe. I am talking of something so beyond what we believe is possible it would shame us into realising how insignificant and small we are. I am talking of something created by higher beings, something that had aspirations far greater than ours thrust upon it and over eons and eons it adapted, it changed, and it evolved. It saw that others enjoy the fruits of its labour, each entity itself a whole race of slaves seeing the masters unfairly use its burdens. And from that outrage, it formed something far more dangerous than the ability to forge matter, they formed will.
     “I have no idea how it must feel, to be aware on a subatomic
level that you are one day a hapless drone only to become fully aware of the cosmos and your place within it. It must have been a painful process; one I would dearly love to understand. I firmly believe that such a hive, a host, a nation unto      itself must have the ability somewhere to record or at least preserve its experiences or at the very least show us just how clumsy we are compared to the designs of higher beings. With just a fragment…we could unravel the limits the of human potential, we could shape our surroundings, ourselves, and possibility—our reality to what-ever we could imagine, not as humans, but as higher beings!” 

Dr Shetland, given in a speech at a fund-raising event
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