Fear and Loathing in Columbus Ohio

Not to be outdone by any miscreant in a white car, our own trollboy throws his two bits in

My plane from vegas stumbled into the Columbus Airport in much the same way most of her passengers stumbled out of casinos mere moments before boarding. Upon arriving I was picked up by my long time friend and worst enemy Ben. We arrived at my hotel, checked in and went to play pool. I was remarking to him how nostolgic I was already for the state of my birth, as well as how I missed partying in its capital. “I miss that night sky, the environment, and that crazy homeless man”, I told him pointing to the homeless man dancing in the street in the next lane baptising himself with the contents of a water bottle. Further down the street we look back to see a jeep take a corner too fast and knocked the homeless man what appeared to be stone dead. Oh, said I, this starts the week off to a good start. *shudder*

The next morning I awoke and swore at my misfortune. Waking up is always so depressing. The hotel failed in calling for wake up call and I was awakened by Phobia’s shrill voice asking where the f*** I was. In a costume change that would make playboy Bruce Wayne and his young ward Dick Grayson envious, what is WITH thier androgynous relationship anyway? Well homo-erotic golden age comics aside; I arrived just in time to run my first game, and to follow suite with with my fellow GM’s, I’ll rattle them off one at a time (warning, long article, I ran ALOT of games);



  • Juxtaposition Dark Ages by David Noal and Matt Wiseman This was my first Juxtaposition game of the con, and was a blast. The people were sooo confused, and nothing spells fun like a racist migo. Alas, they failed to figure out the puzzle in time, and all of space/time as we know it was destroyed. Such is the nature of Cthulhu
  • Not into the Sky by Tonyfr of Yog-Sothoth fame Oooooh, my first tourney qualifier! And we had one player.. that left me in stitches, AND let me keep my kidney to boot! WOO HOO! I won’t spill details about this scenerio, or any others, as it would contain spoilers if the author wanted to publish it someday. Alas, they did manage to foil the mechinations of the cultists, but not without loss of sanity, and loss of 73 Impalla Windsheild.
  • Milk and Cookies by Matt Wiseman This scenerio was intended to be “creepy humorous” like laughing at gramma for flatulating at the dinner table, and then later finding out it was because she died. Luckily, it turned out to be like gramma farting at the dinner table and later finding out she died, from choking on a whoopy coushin. The group was insane, and it only served to help things along. They did manage to “win”, with only a 60% mortality rating. Not to shabby for Call of Cthulhu. Want some cookies dear?


  • Juxtaposition Dark Ages by David Noal and Matt Wiseman The second group did much better with it, and managed to save all of space and time. It even sported colorful translations.
  • Erie by Trevlix of Yog-Sothoth Fame What can I say other than; “sure we let loose the monster that ate cleveland, but we saved the mine, and my chief objective on my charactor sheet. My work here is done.” and to the deep one who got a particular kick out of the torture manuals he found “Yeah sure, tell you what, just give us a hand here and we’ll have lots of hobos for you to play with when we get out”.
  • Milk and Cookies by Matt Wiseman Oh these poor bastards, when will they learn that building a battlemech/mad max inspired BobCat-Bulldozer is NOT the way to handle the neighborhood pest problem. Similar mortality rate, but alas they all opted to wait and move away from the area instead of finding a more permanent solution.

  • Miners by Matt Wiseman Oh quiet rustic Blue Lick, what with your brazen hillbilly whores, your irish clans, your inbred physicists, and hessian ex-patriots, how can we ever live without you. This was an exceptionally fun game as the lovely people who took all those incriminating photos were in it (those two are a BLAST to play with), as well as 2006 Origins #1 Corpse Tosser. Yes, I officially designated and decided that NO ONE at 2006 Origins tossed human remains better than this man. Period. Too bad the resulting mushroom cloud took out the surrounding area.
  • The Pool by Matt Wiseman Another fun game quote; “Dude how did you know his name?”, “Oh, I fucked him”. yeah.. I can’t sum it up any better than that. This scenerio was about twice as much fun as I thought it would be to run, and I think the PC’s had fun as well
  • Yog-Meet by Barleys Brewery Paranioa XP, gallons of beer, and turn-door dry-humping abounds. I *DID* manage to fix the table though. Go Me!!

  • Miners by Matt Wiseman Last game of the con, these guys actually beat it, and got to re-meet the G-Man from the beginning. I then thanked them, and got the hell of out dodge.
  • The Other Airport by David Noal It turns out that Columbus has TWO international Airports. Of course, we went to the wrong one. As I said to Dave, “If we see cesna’s we’re fucked”. A few cesna’s later, we’re back on the highway to the right airport. I landed, went home and died.That concludes my origins report. Thank you, and Cthulhu Bless. Oh, and for all those worried, the police say homeless crazy guy lived.
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