All posts by EvilKitten

“I’ll take the damn pills when you can prove to me I’m wrong about the Internet. I’m not saying that computers are evil, I’m not pretending to be some tabloid TV version of a fake Amish. I’m saying that the end result of a worldwide network has such a high potential to be evil that it’s safer to assume that it is. One cell isn’t evil, but you get enough of them together and proliferating – that’s right, I can still use precise vocabulary – and it’s a cancerous growth. No, I didn’t know your brother was in hospital for chemo. I’m sorry about that. But knowledge is power and when you hook enough of it together…”
-Secure ward, Highcroft Psychiatric Hospital

“I’m requesting leave for personal reasons. I’m starting to see the possibilities in the delusions of one of my patients. You look at the faces people using tablets, laptops, smartphones – it’s like the internet is sucking their souls out. I’ll take time out on a nice beach for a week, just with a normal non-smart cellphone. Please confirm by written memo or verbally – I’m switching my desktop off.”
– Main office, Highcroft Psychiatric Hospital, 2 hours later
Continue reading »

“I’m not sure if there’s anything I can tell you. I mean, I’m just grateful that on that day I had a lab session across campus, and missed the recording slot. Recording? Yeah, it wasn’t performing. For full marks on the course, we had to record a recital as well as performing live, OK? And this was the test slot to get all the little settings figured out? So they didn’t need me there all of the time; the security camera knows more than I do. Experimental soundwaves? No, just plain acoustic instruments and trying to get a clean recording. Mozart, to be exact. I guess that your science teams have told you that it takes like over 200 decibels to kill, and nothing in that room had that kinda output. Yeah, I had to look for basic identifying and I’ll tell you this: I saw blood over their ears and heads, but I’ve seen burst eardrums before and they don’t bleed so much, and it’s like a small amount. You don’t notice it on Judith with her nail polish, but the guys’ hands are coated in blood, hair and gunk. I don’t care if you put it down to shock, they must’ve been desperate to keep out or drag something out. Test it. I don’t know why the cameras fuzzed either, hell, this is an elective cheap grade course and I’m an English major, not engineering or physics. [phone rings] Sure, sure I can hold on while you take that. You OK, Officer? Officer? What’s the problem with eardrums? Of course they’d be broken if you think a sonic blast caused it….they’re intact…no, I got nothing…say, officer, can I go? I wanna go past Engineering and grab some noise reduction gear…”

-Recorded statement of Martin Nichols, freshman student at Warwick University [Interviewing Officer’s Note: The body of Martin Nichols was found in the storage room of the Music Centre 3 hours after this interview. As with the original case, this remains open]

“[soft croon with guitar] Mmmm, the sun goin’ down, boy, dark gon’ catch me here Lord I’m standin’ at the crossroad, babe, I believe I’m sinkin’ down. [stills strings]
Why’d I sell my soul to the Devil? I never did. He just promised me that I could be keepin’ it until I passed. The music wouldn’a’ waited an’ it woulda never sat still on the discs.”
– Robert Johnson, Bluesman Continue reading »